The Sly Code

One Friday night in a cold February way back in 2010, I sent my friend Ben a drunken text about watching the movie ‘Daylight,’ which lead me to the idea of a discreet code system involving Sylvester Stallone movies. I call it the ‘Sly Code’ you use a Stallone movie to basically refer to the situation you are currently in with a lady. The code is easy, all you do is text a friend what movie(s) you are watching and they automatically know the situation you are in. I will warn you, it is a fairly graphic code and is not meant for the meek.

Daylight- Not having sex… There could be many reasons why, but the person receiving the text will find it hilarious due to the others misfortune.
The Expendables- One night stand… Some good explosions and you are gone like Dolph Lundgren’s acting Career.
First Blood- Virgin territory…Hopefully there will be sequels otherwise you are just a horrible person.
Cop Land- Minor…you should always ID, but sometimes things happen.
Assassins- Cock Blocked… People will try and prevent you from hooking up, and these people are horrible, no good, very bad people.
Demolition Man- Cock Blocker…You are cock blocking others around you. For it is hilarious and very entertaining to see the frustration on other people’s faces.
Judge Dredd- You got caught… or you are wearing a helmet, but most likely you got caught
The Specialist- Third base… It is a skill.
Cliffhanger- Blue Balls… The only thing worse than Daylight
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot- Cougar…I use the term ‘Cougar’ loosely for it basically refers to any old woman, no matter how attractive.
Tango & Cash- Threesome…If by chance it is a ‘Devils Threesome,’ it becomes Tango & Tango
Rocky 1 thru 5-Ranking system of how crazy/insane a situation is…Rocky being your run of the mill situation, Rocky V being ‘I don’t know how we got to this point.’
Rocky Balboa- I am in a situation which we will never speak of ever again, it never happened, don’t ask me about this in the morning… I hope I never have to use this one.

It is possible to have a double or triple feature or even to start off with one movie just to switch it half way through.

Example- I was watching ‘Cop Land,’ but realized it was a bad idea so I watched ‘Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot,’ instead, which was also a bad idea.

I am sure women can also use this code system, but I feel like Reese Witherspoon or Kate Hudson movies would be more fitting.