To Catch Chris Hansen

You know who has an interesting life, Chris Hansen. The man could find Jimmy Hoffa’s body, cure AIDs, and solve global warming and his legacy would still be catching pedophiles in kitchens. What does he do with himself now that To Catch a Predator is over with and all you’re left with is the stigma of hanging out with perverts? Maybe he can attempt to let God enter back into his life. Granted he couldn’t go Catholic due to making all the priests very paranoid and generally uncomfortable. Chris could do some home remodeling, I am sure he has plenty of “Predator” cash saved up. Although seeing Chris Hansen wondering around fake kitchen setups in Lowes, would not help his cause or whoever was helping him pick out cabinets. He could take a more active role in his children’s lives. Wait, nope. That is just going to freak teachers out during parent teacher conferences, not to mention when he takes the kids to the park it is going to scare everyone away from the park. Mr. Hansen, by no means has the stigma of being a pedophile just that he is always around them. I have always been told you are no better then the company you keep. I don’t even know how one would be friends with him and actually be able to hang out in public?

Now what would you do if you were Chris Hansen? I personally would start a website that sells life size cut outs of myself. It is a great gift idea for anyone with a kitchen. Which also acts as a reminder for everyone to ID before going home with someone? He could form a Metal band, “Chris Hansen and the Pedophiliacs.” Sadly I bet he is doing none of these things. He is most likely in a shady bar, with a badly grown beard, drinking his life away trying to make friends. I just hope his ice breaker line isn’t, “So I have a few questions for you.”