Awkward Turtle in an Awkward Land

Who doesn’t enjoy a good awkward moment? Bumping into an ex buying condoms or someone talking about their parents having sex. One’s ability to deal with awkward situations is a good definition of what type of person they are. There are four basic reactions to any awkward moment, Fight, Flight, Foster, or Oblivious (sadly couldn’t think of another F-word).

Fight- You stand your ground and try to deflect as much of the awkwardness as possible. Your goal is to eliminate the current awkwardness and prevent any potential future awkwardness. Quick thinking and the ability to make light of the situation is key to success otherwise you will be perceived as a ‘Fosterer.’
Flight- You look for a way out of the current conversation or situation. Sometimes it results in trying to pretend this isn’t awkward, hiding, or just running away. Sudden perfuse perspiration, inability to make eye contact and an apparent feeling that someone just cranked the heat up are very common symptoms.
Foster- You recognizes how awkward the situation is and then try to escalate it to new more awkward heights. Why would one do this? There are many reasons, I tend to do this just to see how far I can push something and then try to see if I can maneuver my way back out of it. I don’t think it is healthy, but it is a lot of fun.
Oblivious- You have absolutely no idea that you are in an awkward moment or situation, but yet you sense something is a little off. You will usually verbalize this with an untimely phrase along the lines of ‘this is awkward’ or ‘I feel like there is something going on.’

Many people use all of these at one point or another, but usually lean on one as a crutch. There is no right way to handle an awkward situation. If there was, it wouldn’t be awkward. Each situation comes with its own obstacles (location, time, people involved, Etc) and one’s emotional state can dictate how everything plays out. One tip I will give you for preparation of your next awkward moment, the more serious to take it, the more awkward and excruciating it is going to be.